Report from Interzone

Interzone agent; Alice dee

Yet another week of pants poopingly incredible news! All True!

As if last month, when Donald saved the world fro “Rocketman’s nuclear threat wasn’t enough ( and the sight of those two in skin-tight Lycra wis stillalmost too much)
*This* week, America’s favourite super-hero took on the most evilest boss baddy of them all! This week Captain Trump took on Mr Putin- in  fortress of danger in Hellishzinki!

It was just like Blusterus league in(c) In Drivel Comics 12(c)!

The world could barely summon the strength of character to totter to their habitual telvision consuming spot! The planet Earth itself faltered in its rotation as the Commander in chief of goodness and the  most evillest man in the solar system actually met face to face! It was as staggering, as eye-gougingly brain fucking as that tim that time General Buchalter caught Colenel Klink and Corporal Schultz doing bum sex in “Hogan’s Heroes”- while Fraulien Helga, in scanty lingerie flogged Corporal Schultz’s sweaty back with the cord from an electric fan! How we laughed! Corporally punished Schultz certainly knew something then! How they all deserved their load of Emmies that year. And this year the awards will arrive in a shipping container for the writer who managed to create the pretence that there was the slightest smidgen of doubt – a boson particle of suspense as to what would happen when these “two” great leaders met in deal- making mode.

Of course what we’re talking about here is the “Two most powerful men on Earth” -both “successful businessmen”- doing some dealing “for the good of us all”I feel sick. The outcome of the meeting was a forgone conclusion.

Donald Trump took a large inheiritance from his father (-) and through decades of business dealing grew it by slightly less than it would have grown under prevailing interest rates. In other words, if he’d just put it in the bank and had it earn interest- he’d be richer now than  all his “dealing” has made him.

Vladimir Putin, on the other hand, was a KGB colonel when his society, the Soviet Union fell apart over decades of shifty business he has made himself probably the richest and undoubtedly the most pwerful man in the world. Unlike Trump, Putin does not have to answer to *anyone*-not congress, not the Senate definitely not CNN and certainly not to Donald Trump.

The question was never who would come out ahead in the dealing but whether Donald Trump would even realise how seriously he’d been ass fucked, and as far as that goes, his performance, *since* the meeting says it all; Shambling around like a zombie and almost tripping over the queen, embarassingly confusing the words “wou’ and “wouldn’t” in the kind of way that had me wondering how long it would take him to forget Vladimir’s “would” and how he’d thought he wouldn’t.I’m rather ashamed to admit I laughed, and wondered how he’d go negotiating with Harvey Weinstein

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